Mi sabotaje:Erronel

Digital painting done in clip studio paint. Based on the poem written by me titled “My sabotage: Erronel” which is the poem that continues the story of the last poem titled “My happiness: Erronel”. It tells the story of Erronel, who is someone who suffers for his happiness, a happiness that he is addicted to and cannot escape. This continuation shows a more focused Erronel, with an atmosphere of redemption and introspection.
work part of my series of conceptual illustrations that take place in the magical world of the Dream Forest. 

Poema ESP(original) (English translation below)
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Las tentaciones fluyen y trastocan mi transición de ocaso a un sendero sin fin, un camino que se despliega solo para mí, sin preocuparse por su origen o creador. Mi destino era plasmar mi esencia en ese asfalto. 
Accidentes que abracé, transformándolos en elecciones; me despojé y escapé de mi propio mundo, de mi propia dicha. 
Tropiezos, caídas y embates continuaron su marcha. Nadie a mi alrededor buscó comprender ni abrazar, nadie se dispuso a acoger. 
Creí que hice lo correcto al liberarme de lo que me constreñía, mas ahora sé que, al hacerlo, comencé de nuevo, como retocar un lienzo que a otros inquietaba y a mí me encantaba. Ahora debo crear algo que satisfaga no solo mi ser, sino a los demás. 
Es paradójico cómo debo perderme para que otros me desamparen. Dejé atrás lo que anhelaba: una jeringa llena de risas y carcajadas que me atormentaban al cuestionar si volvería a saborear tu esencia. 
No sé dónde te encuentras; comprendo que el perdido fui yo. Ahora que me he hallado, no logro evocar quién eras. 
Es extraño, fue abrupto, como si los besos y caricias quedaran tatuados en mi piel. 
Los contemplo, los recuerdo, pero los percibo desgastados, quizá porque yacen en mi piel. 
Despojé mi alegría y la dejé ir de una vez por todas. Soy uno más entre las caras, un zombie que deambula entre flores rebosantes de vida. 
Sigo siendo yo, pero diferente, he sustituido a mi antiguo yo, que ahora forma parte de mí. Sacrifiqué el reinado de ese mundo que tanto estimaba para liberarme del río efímero que me hacía alucinar. 
Ahora avanzo en un terreno firme, aprendiendo a caminar sin apoyo, a hablar sin oír y a vivir sin sentir la necesidad de respirar. 
————______________———————————- 
Continuation of “Mi felicidad:Erronel” 
ENG(translation) 
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Temptations flow and disrupt my transition from dusk to an endless path, a road that unfolds only for me, unconcerned with its origin or creator. My destiny was to imprint my essence on that asphalt. 
Accidents I embraced, turning them into choices; I stripped myself and escaped from my own world, from my own happiness. 
Stumbles, falls, and onslaughts continued their march. No one around me sought to understand or embrace, no one was willing to welcome. 
I thought I did the right thing by freeing myself from what constrained me, but now I know that in doing so, I started anew, like retouching a canvas that troubled others and delighted me. Now I must create something that satisfies not only my being but others as well. 
It’s paradoxical how I must lose myself for others to abandon me. I left behind what I longed for: a syringe full of laughter and joy that tormented me, questioning whether I would ever taste your essence again. 
I don’t know where you are; I understand that I was the lost one. Now that I’ve found myself, I can’t evoke who you were. 
It’s strange, it was abrupt, as if the kisses and caresses were tattooed on my skin. 
I contemplate them, remember them, but perceive them as worn, perhaps because they linger on my skin. 
I stripped away my joy and let it go once and for all. I am just one more face among the crowds, a zombie wandering among flowers teeming with life. 
I am still me, but different, I have replaced my former self, who now is a part of me. I sacrificed the reign of that world I cherished so much to free myself from the ephemeral river that made me hallucinate. 
Now I move on firm ground, learning to walk without support, to speak without hearing, and to live without feeling the need to breathe.